Tag: Grief

Lost without you

Standing by your grave

watching you go

It’s like no other pain

I’ve ever known

To love someone so much

To have no control

I never had that last goodbye

In my dreams you say ‘it’s ok’

But I think I’m lost without you

I just feel crushed without you

I’ve been strong for so long

That I never thought how much I needed you

I think I’m lost without you

Standing here all alone

Just tryna get through

But your not here

And the pain I feel like nothing that I’ve ever known

Hits me at full speed

Feel like I can’t breathe

And nobody knows

This pain inside me

My world is crumbling

I never wanted to

Let you go

I think I’m lost without you

I think I’m lost, lost, lost

Ooh-way, ooh-way, ooh-way, ooh, ooh

I think I’m lost without you, you

I just feel crushed without you

‘Cause I’ve been strong for so long

That I never thought how much I love you

Standing by your grave

watching you go

It’s like no other pain

I’ve ever known

slightly adapted @freyaridings lyrics 💛 I miss you @astenjones_ so very much xoxo 💛

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Desk Job

Working at a desk all day was never what I planned or wanted to do. I have always been a sports lover, keen to explore and loved being outside. But reality is my day job means being inside working at a desk or attending meetings sometimes in a room with no windows. So when my work day is over like today I had only clocked up a less than 1000 steps on my Fitbit so I needed to get my body moving and give my muscles some exercise. No only has the #Walk1000Miles challenge made me challenge myself it has helped with my fitness, my mental health and my overall wellbeing. So this evening there was a little light rain as I left the house which actually was quite refreshing and by the time I was back home my Fitbit was showing over 10,000 steps. 🙌🏼

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729 Days

Entering this week with as much positivity as possible. I thank those who over the past 729 days have shared their stories with me and who have taken the time to listen to mine. As my journey continues I aim to provide support to others by challenging myself to climb Kilimanjaro and raising money for Child Bereavement UK. Making a positive difference to others is something I can work to achieve. If you are able to donate please check out my virgin money giving page every penny will go towards helping bereaved families.

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Mental Health Awareness

‘Don’t worry if people don’t like you, most people are struggling to like themselves’. Seen some truly amazing posts this week about mental health and many people sharing their stories. Self love and self care is more important than anything else, you can’t function at you best for the ones you love if you don’t look after yourself.

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Monday Motivation

Don’t let anyone let your colour fade. It’s easy to say but harder to do, but I’m friends with you because you are you. #MentalHealth

I needed to escape earlier this evening, I felt overwhelmed and I just wanted sometime alone. So I put on my walking boots and walked all the stress away, thought of nothing and enjoyed just being outside. Never under estimate what a walk can do for you.

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Smile

Been working hard to get this smile back.

So I’m guilty of it, posting Instagram pictures showing what I want everyone to see: a happy me.

My world is a constant rollercoaster of emotions, working most of the week and doing the family chores the rest of the week.

My life is in no way perfect and although pictures of me may often be smiling and happy, this hasn’t been the norm.

I have worked hard to work though my emotions, what I have felt as failures and not being enough.

However if you have read my words over the past couple of years you will know that it hasn’t always been easy. Take a moment to read the words below an image as many of them tell great stories. Xx

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Kilimanjaro

I never thought I would be that person, never thought I would loose someone so precious to me, Asten a wonderful daughter, amazing sister and loyal friend. After a serious car accident Asten was air lifted to hospital but devastatingly she lost the battle for her life later the same day.

This has completely shattered our lives, we have had to learn to live again and to deal with the huge unseen mental health issues.

Since Asten passed on 21st May 2017 I have had some of the most heartbreaking conversations with my 2 boys, ‘mum I am so scared when am I going to die?’ and ‘what’s the point if we are just going to die anyway’. And I have felt like a failure not being able to give them the answers they desire. And its thanks to the support of my family, friends and bereavement Councillor that I am getting through this unimaginable loss.

Showing the children that life can go on and it’s what you make of it, is one of the reasons why I am taking on the Kilimanjaro challenge for Child Bereavement UK. Secondly that others can have access to the support after such a loss and finally for me to show myself how strong I still am and I will continue to be.

So if you can please support every single penny will go towards helping a parent or sibling who has been bereaved of a son/daughter/brother/sister/mum/dad.

Support my Kilimanjaro Trek

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Tuesday Thoughts 💭

‘Spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people.’ – The Breakfast Club –

I love Instagram and I use it for inspiration, for my mental health and as a record.

1. Inspiration – I love to see other people’s adventures, where they are exploring and what others are up to. I try my best not to feel like I am missing out but to look at what I could do or where I could get to.

2. Mental Health – trying to make myself understand and realise that it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to miss someone you love who is no longer here and that every day is not perfect.

3. A record – what I have achieved, where I was, what I have seen, and what I have. I love looking back although sometimes it hurts terribly I know how far I have come from an unbelievable tragedy that broke my world. ❤️ So use Instagram for what makes you happy, follow the things you love, dream of what can be, share with others if you wish and try not to feel like your missing out as no one can do everything or be everywhere. ❤️ #instagram #mentalhealth #inspiration #record

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